facebook missed connections

November 11, 2009

I just received this message from a random named Benjamin Smith on facebook:

Hey! Since you are in the Clarendon Ballroom group you can maybe help me..
Last Saturday Night (7.11.) I meet Gabrielle/Gabriella (maybe the name was Gloria, but I don`t think so) She has dark hair.
I have to talk to her again! So please if you know her, ask her if she knows me!
Thanks anyway! Ben!

This tells me a few things:

  1. The people who go to the Clarendon Ballroom are entirely too young.  I checked out his limited profile, and was able to glean that he was born in 1986, which would make him 23.  I knew I was over the Ballroom, but this simply confirms it.
  2. Clearly this kid does not have a good grip on reality.  Just because I am in the “Clarendon Ballroom” group (which by the way I will be removing myself from promptly upon completing this post), how in the world would this indicate that I might know this Gabrielle/Gabriella/Gloria chic?  Shouldn’t he have done his due diligence and looked to see if I was friends with any girl whose name begins with G, since he doesn’t seem to know her name in the first place?  Does this look like missed connections?
  3. She has dark hair.  That narrows it down for me, thanks.
  4. He is foreign.  Otherwise I have no idea why he would put the 7 in front of the 11 when describing the date.  Unless I’m missing something, I’m pretty sure we are currently in the month of November.
  5. Also noticed upon looking at his facebook profile; his profile picture does not show his face.  Instead, it shows him upside down in some sort of space gear flying through the air.  How in the world is Gabriella going to find him if his face isn’t even on his facebook profile pic?  I give up dude.
  6. There are 442 people in the Clarendon Ballroom group.  Did he email all 442 of us?  If not, why was I one of the chosen ones?
  7. Ben, seriously, get her name right.  I can’t emphasize this enough; kind of important in locating your lost love.
  8. He signed it “Thanks anyway!”  Clearly, he knew this email would get him nowhere and he was in pure desperation mode. Gabriella must have been good.

To Gabrielle/Gabriella/Gloria, really any girl with dark hair who’s name begins with a “G” – I don’t know you, but if you are reading this, please get in touch with Ben.  Or I can put you in touch with him, just let me know.  I’ve posted a picture of him in case that helps.


Benjamin Smith