Yesterday morning, I was walking out of Starbucks and let the door pretty much slam in some guy’s face. Why, you may ask? Because I didn’t want to touch the door, obviously. I heard him “phhhhh” at me in disbelief as I did it. Now, I feel bad. Maybe I would have felt better about it if I had explained to him, “sorry, I’m OCD…I can’t touch the door so instead run through the smallest opening before it closes on me and let it slam in your face. All so I don’t have to obsess over the germs on my hand for the rest of the walk to work, because obviously I would have washed my hands as soon as I entered the building.” Think that might work? Worth a try.
I think I’m cool, I wear my sunglasses on the metro…
(For some reason those exact words popped in my head in the form of a song…I can sing it for you sometime if you’d like).
By the way, is anyone ever freaked out whenever a pay phone rings in a metro station? Honestly, I feel like I’m living out a scene in a horror movie every time it happens.
And one final note on metro…red line – seriously? Chalk up another two deaths to a metro accident. It really is starting to get to be quite unbelievable.
Today, I went to a volunteer orientation for teaching english as a second language (ESL). Been wanting to volunteer my time somewhere since I moved to DC, and am considering a couple of options. So I emailed a woman at a church I’ve been going to which runs an ESL program to get some more information. She directed me to this orientation today. The following conversation, happening as we are all sitting around a table during orientation so everyone can hear, didn’t exactly bump ESL to the top of my list of options…
Woman running program: Sara – you email me? (English is obviously her second language)
Woman: And you don’t say hi?????
Sara: Sorry (why I apologized I have no idea, I figured she got emails from everyone at the table but maybe I was wrong.)
Woman: You are a mess!!!
Sara: I am a mess??? (flabbergasted…had no idea how to respond to this)
Woman: I was kidding.
[Conversation abruptly comes to a halt]
So apparently guys, I am a mess. As if I didn’t know this before, it is now confirmed by the woman running the ESL program. FML
So I was just wondering, when exactly does the statute of limitations expire on when you can wish someone a happy new year? I was just upstairs in the caf standing in line to buy some much needed coffee, when two people who hadn’t seen each other in a while were winding down their conversation.
Guy: It was so good to see you…(added bonus) happy new year!
Woman: (surprised but pleased)..thank you!
Mind you, it is now January 21st. How long can you wish someone a happy new year? For the entire month of January? When do we limit this, people? Feel free to weigh in. I just found it odd. My inclination would be to give it until January 10th, then call it a day. I mean, after that we’re getting close to MLK Day, Valentine’s Day, and President’s Day. Does the new year trump MLK? I’m not so sure about that.
While I might be slightly embarrassed that I enjoy a good McDonald’s two cheeseburger meal, I am even more embarrassed that I have been watching Real World DC. But let’s just be clear; I am only watching it because I live here. For those of you in DC who have not taken the time to watch this yet, you actually should. Seeing the cast tour our town is actually pretty amusing. And oh my goodness – the trip to Nellie’s? HILARIOUS!!!
But I just have to say this – this Andrew cat is funny. Dude is weird. Basically, the entire episode was about him trying to get some ass; his attempts and failures. Exaggerating his date with a girl, he explains their romp in the park to a roommate as,
We went to the park, made love under the shade of the trees, amongst the birds and the squirrels [pause]…and the homeless.
I’m sorry, but that had me laughing out loud. Living in DC and hanging out in Dupont Circle on a fairly regular basis, I can very much appreciate that comment. Can’t wait to read the DCist summary of this ep, as it seems there were a few good quotes displayed. Here are some other classics from Andrew in the confessional:
“It’s hard to seal the deal in this town.” (Actually confirmed by a number of my guy friends)
“If we just lay there, maybe out of boredom or something, maybe she’ll just [pause]…give it up.”
“I didn’t get to sleep once. I laid there, thinking about [pause]…my boner.”
“As a country, why can’t we come up with something better [pause]…than spooning!” (Since we’re here, should we take this issue up with Congress?)
As you can see, Andrew tends to pause before [pause]…delivering the punch line. Oh look, he met the girl at Sweetgreen. There’s a shocker. Oh look, they are going to Russia House. Another shocker. Funny, there’s a scene of them at the Capitol Skyline Hotel pool. Stunning! Oh and did I mention my thoughts on Ty? Hot. I’m sure that comes as a surprise to you. Also, glad to see Josh finally saying a few words in this episode. I was beginning to think MTV was hiding him, only to use him as a puppet to dance around, wear sunglasses inside, and act like he’s cool. I was starting to think he was mute.
I am also sad to admit that a few months ago, I just happened to be walking by 20 and S, since it’s my hood [pause]…and I took a stalker pic. Here it is:
Thanks, been wanting to get rid of that one for a while. And on a final note, they all went to dinner at Big Hunt one night (of all places), and got drunk hecklers?!?! This is great DC. I love it. Surprised that MTV actually displayed the hatred this city has shown them. Hope you guys had an enjoyable stay!
Just received an email from DC Professionals in the City notifying me of the most recent installment of speed dating. I literally phhhhhh’ed outloud upon receiving it, as this time, miraculously, they are lacking in women.
Maybe this is because the women have caught on that there are whackos out there who participate in these things; for example, Sketchy Suit Guy. However, it was this line in the email that got me:
During our Four Minute Dating Singles Party, you’ll date for approximately one hour, meeting intriguing members of the opposite sex- spend four sweet minutes with each new acquaintance.
“Four sweet minutes?” Oh yes, those four minutes are sweet. Sweet enough for me to skip out on a few of them and head straight to the bar.
Also, another important point to ponder:
Tonight, we are focusing this event on our Twentysomething members! Anyone is welcome, but this event is primarily for people who want to meet Twentysomething members of Professionals in the City.
So what you are telling me is that if I went to this again, I’d actually be hitting my ‘target’ age bracket (since apparently I have a thing for guys in their 20’s). I realize the intent to focus on your twentysomething members, but really, when you add that “anyone is welcome,” you can pretty much expect to see 40-50 year olds along with those in their 20’s. Have fun with that, ladies and gents!
Thanks DC Profs in the City, I needed this laugh.