Deported

August 21, 2013

Hey everyone Sara finally likes a guy! But guess what. He is from a foreign country and was only here on a work visa which expired, so is most likely about to get deported.

Moral of the story:

– Sara finally likes someone, yay!
– But naturally, he’s about to get deported.

Just another day in the life…

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Subject: switching to email

April 1, 2013

Sara: Hey Jon, it’s Sara. Switching over to email (from eHarmony) as you suggested. Hope you are having a good weekend. Get into anything fun?

Jon:

Hey Girl,
Very nice to hear from you!
I had a good weekend, Saturday I actually got out and walked the National mall with friends and really enjoyed the beautiful weather. I total I would estimate that we actually asked about five miles. Yesterday I worked on chores and then walked basketball with some friends. So how was your weekend?

Like me, you may have had to read that a couple of times to make sure you were reading it correctly. Let’s review:

– Hey Girl
– Clarification of which mall he walked, in case there was any confusion.
– I total, he asked about five miles.
– He walked some basketball.

Yours truly,
Sara


app date #1 – review

March 18, 2013

stood up.

Not kidding. This is why I blog about my life. A little more detail…I worked from home on Thurs, so figured I’d go the extra mile and actually get dolled up for this one. Straightened the hair…put on a nice dress…etc etc. Not gonna lie, I looked kinda hot (for an app date). Even got to Chinatown 15 minutes early. Clearly 15 minutes too early because I received the following chat on the app 15 minutes prior to scheduled meetup time.

Matthew (actual name – I’ll do this if you piss me off, so stay on my good side): Something’s come up and I can’t make it tonight. I’ll touch base early next week.

Had to smirk. At the time I was actually milling around in Ann Taylor Loft, which didn’t bode well for my budget. Immediately made alternate plans, as I was not about to waste my good outfit and hair on a no show. And proceeded to have an amazingly hilarious inpromptu evening with Sally and two of her friends. In fact, I’m 100% positive that it was better than hanging out with a douchebag who would have the nerve to cancel 15 minutes before the date.

Anyway, later on that evening, the app slider followed up with me on the quality of the date. Ironically, the slider did not ask me how the date went. Slider literally asked me – did Matthew show up for your date?

Something tells me this might be a common occurrence in app dating. However, this appears to be the benefit of using the slider to set up an app date. If Matthew does not show up for your date, you simply click on the multiple choice response “no, he did not show.” I believe the next best option was “no, he did not show, but it’s okay because we confirmed prior.” Now, Matthew did not necessarily meet either of these criteria, but he was way closer to ‘did not show’ than ‘provided ample notice.’ So ‘no show’ he goes. And Matthew is now banned from the app. Too bad for him.

App date #2 can only look up from here. Potentially two for this week. I’ll keep you posted. I’m getting kind of bored with the app already though, not gonna lie. Plus there are so few 30+ year old men on this thing, that Sally and I both have the same guys in our queue and need to negotiate who gets who. I’ll be moving back to more activity on eHarmony very soon I’m sure.

Good night!
Sara


Prelude to app date

March 14, 2013

Slider: Your date with Mark is in one hour. Are you on your way?

I’m glad we set up the date this way, otherwise I would have forgotten. Thanks, slider.


app dating

March 13, 2013

Guys, I have a new addiction. It’s not online dating; it’s app dating. Sally so brilliantly introduced me to it. Readers, I’d like to formally introduce you to the newest dating rage (in my head):

Let’s Date

Oh my gosh. I am having a blast with this thing. Let’s Date is an app you can download on the iPhone (not sure about Droid availability). You connect via your facebook page, and once you are connected, it auto-populates what is called your ‘card,’ or dating profile. A small amount of information is pulled, but it limits the setup time to about 5 minutes. And let me tell you, that was WAY quicker than eHarmony’s two hours. EML

Next what happens is the app sends you cards of men (or women, if you so desire), where you can either choose “let’s date,” or “no thanks.” Now, the brillance of this app over other online dating platforms is that when you decide you like someone’s card and hit let’s date, the other person only sees if you like them if they also clicked “let’s date” on your card. After that, the matches move into a queue where you can either chat on the app, or literally set up a date via the date slider.

Funny story. Sally and I were having some fun with this last Friday night out at a bar when I downloaded it myself upon her recommendation. Yes, we were out at a bar, on a dating app. So even while we are out attempting to meet men in our normal, everyday lives, we chose to browse cards on our phones while out when we could have potentially met men in real life. But if you think about it, we were really killing two birds with one stone. Doubling our options if you will. Maybe we should keep this practice up now that I’m thinking about it.

Anyway, we had no clue how to use the app initially. I started browsing cards, and clicked Let’s Date on a few. Mind you, selection for women our age on the app is limited initially. Until I figured out how to cross out what I didn’t like on someone’s card, I was sent mostly men in their young 20’s. Now, I’m not trying to go all cougar on you here, so we had to quickly hit “no thanks” on the babies.

However, there were a few men my age that had some appeal. And when I say this, I am basing it purely on their pictures since there really isn’t much in the card. So I clicked “Let’s Date” on them and kept it movin. Browse and click, browse and click. Fun!

Approximately 1 hour after my initial signup, I got a hit. A nice fellow and I had mutually clicked “Let’s Date” on each other’s cards, so this fellow was put in my dating queue. Sally and I were so excited. We acted like we had hit the lottery, yelping for joy. And mind you, neither of us were in any way drunk. So picture us screaming for joy at my hit on a dating app while out at a bar. Totally normal.

Soon thereafter, the hits started rollin in. Each time – BINGO! Sally and I high five. And then, it happened. One hit sent me a date, which is basically a scrolling thing that allows you to say the location, time, date, and who is paying. I thought I was receiving a date from a fellow who wanted to go to POV at 9pm on Tuesday. And he said he was going to pay. How nice! But, Sally and I were distraught. 9pm?! Who suggests a date at 9pm?! What is he doing, shooting for a hookup here? I try to figure out how to counteroffer on the date, and spot the time scroller. I hit ‘change’ and change the time to 7pm – a more logical time for a weekday date. I wasn’t particularly thrilled with POV, but, I can’t change his entire date offer and seem ungrateful. I have to give a little here. So Sally and I figured that a 7pm time change was an appropriate counteroffer. Now, we wait for him to accept.

An hour or so later, I find myself again scrolling through some cards at the bar because I am just addicted to this thing. That’s when it hits me. I look in my queue of mutual matches, and realize that the guy never actually sent me that date. Rather, POV Tues night at 9pm, his treat is the standard setting in the date scroller. That is when I realize I just asked a guy on a date requesting that he pay. I relay the realization to Sally, and at this point we are just crying laughing at the bar. When I thought I was being all coy in my counteroffer, I really was sending him a date and telling him he’d pay for it.

Now, I could have just chatted this dude and apologized, but, I decided to wait and see if he replied. And readers, he did. He sent back a counteroffer to my what I thought was a counteroffer with a new location (yay), new day, and new time. But he left it in that he would pay. That was a nice gesture considering I just told him that he had to.

I am meeting dude tomorrow night. This will be my first app date ever. I will let you know how it goes.

And just to keep tabs, yes. I am now on eHarmony, okcupid (bleh), and Let’s Date. So I am basically now working two full time jobs. Also, an eHarmony match is also in my Let’s Date queue. That must mean something. Oh and one more thing. Terminally ill sick guy has resurfaced. He’s now found me on okcupid, and sadly, he was matched with me on eHarmony. Obviously, that went straight to the ‘block’ tab.

Good night DC,
Sara


“yelllo”

February 6, 2013

I have no idea why that just popped into my head. But since it did, I figured I’d take a moment to capture the thought. What does “yelllo,” mean, you may ask? Valid question. My mother, to this day, sometimes still answers the phone with a long, drawn out “hello.” Except, it sounds more like:

yeeeellow

I believe there was an episode on Seinfeld once wherein Elaine was guilty of the same thing. Although that should not really surprise anyone. Ant, a friend who gave a toast in my sister’s wedding two weekends ago, did tell the entire wedding reception that hanging out with the Barbers growing up was like living an episode of Seinfeld. Funny, because that same thought actually crosses my mind on an almost daily basis.

By golly, I have NO CLUE why that just popped into my head, but it did.

Anyway, I came on to the blog just now to copy and paste the link so a friend of mine, Elle, could read a classic: From Art Galleries to Raging Dance Parties. In our ongoing text messages back and forth, we were discussing the recent success we’ve had with eHarmony. Well, isn’t that funny. Surprisingly, I have some stories from good old eHarmony! Who would have thought?! Thinking about getting back on it, in all actuality. Why not? I haven’t given the online thing a shot in a hot minute. okcupid does not count; that’s more of a fake online dating site. No one pays for it so no one takes it seriously. Now, if I pay to meet a man, clearly I have a better chance of meeting a quality fellow who is also willing to pay to meet a woman. Meeting men in real life just hasn’t been working out for me as of late. So I will buy myself a man. And consider it a good investment.


she’s back

September 25, 2012

…on okcupid. Just checked my messages, and I received one from a dark haired lad, self-attested at 6’2″. It simply says:

Hoi.

Short, sweet, and to the point – if you understand Pig Latin. Simply for blog material, I chose to respond:

What is that – a new language I’m not aware of?

Why not play along with these idiots.

Okay, goodnight.

– Sara