SOTU 2014

January 28, 2014

Having a hard time not blogging this. Just tuned in to the 2014 SOTU. Not sure how much I’ve missed, but that really doesn’t matter. We have the same comedic material as we do year in year out. Take for instance, the skin tones of, from left to right, the Vice Prez, Obama, and Speaker Boehner. Joe Biden – super white. Obama is looking lighter than normal…in fact, he looks like he just has a nice tan, ironic considering he’s the black guy of the group. But Boehner…Boehner… REALLY?!!! He looks like he’s been hanging out in the tanning bed but yet forgot to wear his SPF 15. What the he*l is up with your skin, dude?! Year in, year out, I realize I harp on the same thing. But it just doesn’t get old. If you simply block out what is even being discussed and focus, quite simply, on the variety of skin tones…it’s really quite hilarious.

More soon perhaps. If something strikes me, I’ll blog again. Enjoy.


okc update #1

March 6, 2013

What was I thinking paying for an online dating site? I forgot the merits of okcupid. This just in:

hola como esta ? esta linda

Good thing I am able read espanol. Not sure what in my profile made this character think I’d like to receive a message in Spanish, but to each his own.

Snowquester fun

March 6, 2013

I’m back online. Yes, after a long, long hiatus (too long), Sara is back to entertain you with her dating stories. Hopefully something substantive will come to fruition during this bout, but until then, I’ll just take a minute to inform you of a couple things that have happened in a matter of less than 24 hours.

Last night, I signed up for eharmony. I did this after googling reviews on and eharmony before making a purchasing decision (pretty standard for me). Now, both match and eharmony are ranked very high in the dating domain. However, match can be used for those serious about a relationship and those not so serious (casual dating and random hookups). Frankly, I’m over the non-serious so I didn’t even want to be tempted by someone feigning ‘serious relationship’ but really looking for a casual hookup. So, eharmony is where I landed. Hello.

In a matter of less than a day, I’ve been matched with a plethora of men. Lot’s of older men, I might add, which is not really my thing, but I can’t knock it till I try it I suppose. Also a lot of dorky ones but I’ll continue to give this a chance considering my last run on the site resulted in dates with some hot, nice people.

Anyway, since we are home from work today due to Snowquester, I was milling through my matches only to see that I was matched with a friend of mine who I’ve known for ages. Okay, I know he’s normal so that’s a good start I suppose, but pretty hilarious. Texted him to make light of the situation and moved on.

Because I am just seeing a bunch of old dorks so far on eharmony, I brought up my old okcupid profile only to see that I had a bunch of messages from as far back as October, when I started dating someone and let the whole online thing go. So, I decide to respond to these men. Five months later. No big deal.

One 28 year old lad (yes, I should know better than to go any younger than 29, and even that’s pushing it) immediately pounces on the bandwagon and shoots me a reply message asking if I’m off work today due to Snowquester. I respond that yes, I’m off work, asking if he is. You know, just keeping the awkward conversation with someone you have never met going. His reply:

I’m at home too. 🙂 What are your thoughts on curling up and watching a movie? 🙂

I guess I should have expected this from a 28 year old. Sure! I’ll curl up on a couch with a random stranger and watch a movie. That sounds like a fabulous idea. Why didn’t I think of that?

And so it begins. Enjoy Snowquester, DC. So far it’s been highly entertaining on this end.



January 3, 2013

“Hey, have you heard of Mumford & Sons?” Shout-out to Big D, President of UBG who has since moved out of the DC area. Big D discovered Mumford. He introduced us all to Mumford. After the first album came out, UBG made a trip to see them at Merriweather last year. AMAZING show, despite us watching in the middle of the worst thunderstorm I’ve ever been caught in the middle of outdoors and not being able to run for cover. Very interesting. Anyway, my point. Mumford has since come out with a second album. It’s a great album. I really would love to see them; would absolutely love it. But, without a doubt, they sold out immediately. They actually have two shows in the DC area in February. Both shows sold out. Ticket prices keep going up on stubhub. Now they are at $180 each, and that is the lowest I’m currently seeing.

So, if someone can find it in the goodness of their heart to get me a ticket to Mumford & Sons, I will forever love you. Just a thought to all those Sara admirers out there.

Happy New Year!  Since we are only 3 days in I figured this was appropriate.


New Years resolution #1

January 3, 2013

I should post more. How have you all been? Just checking in. Been getting a few complaints about lack of recent posts. More to come…

guest blog post

September 19, 2012

Clearly, I need to get back into online dating immediately. And yes, it would only be for the blog. Because I’d like to introduce another new friend to the blog. We stole her from ABG. She moved to DC from Arlington and now I’d like to indoctrinate her into UBG as soon as possible, because she’s actually kind of cool (unlike the rest of ABG). For those who don’t recall, UBG is the U Street Bike Gang which I and 15 others are a member of. ABG is our competitor, the Arlington Bike Gang. They don’t roll as deep but they may be a little more serious about biking. Anyway, this new friend (or acquaintance, depending upon how you look at it) also bikes so that is a plus; we need more serious bikers in UBG to compete with ABG. But I’m digressing yet again. Allow me to introduce Gwyneth. Gwyneth, welcome, and thank you thank you THANK YOU for this material.

Gwyneth was catching up on my blog and upon reading it, realized she has very similar online dating material. In fact, just two days ago, she received a very compelling email from a guy she went on an hour long date with. His blog name will be Jonathob (see below). You see, Gwyneth didn’t really feel any chemistry with Jonathob so immediately put the kabosh on the date without further adieu. And with good reason. Take for example this string of text messages sent after said date, which generated absolutely no response from Gwyneth but yet still drew more text messages from him.




Correct me of I’m wrong, ladies, but isn’t it common practice to just not respond to someone whom you went on an hour long date with and were not interested in? Granted, it would be nice to respond with an “I’m not interested,” but that is awkward and weird. Better to just ignore the text. However, when you start to get text bombed like this, you may want to just respond with a simple “unsubscribe,” or maybe even my old time favorite that can be utilized when you no longer want to be included in a group text, “STOP.”

But it doesn’t end here. After not responding to ANY of the above text messages, Gwyneth received the following email from Jonathob. She received this little piece of heaven not a week, not one month, but two…I repeat, TWO months after their date. Clearly, she made an impression on him.

Hi. So, I was just reflecting on my recent experiences on this website, and I just wanted to say I think it’s kind of lame that we didn’t meet up again. It seemed like we both had a really good time when we met up. I’m pretty hilarious, and even though you are way too serious about everything, it seemed like you liked sudoku, which is obviously very important.
Wait, WHAT. There is so much going on in that last sentence that we must take a minute to reflect.
  • I’m pretty hilarious [does not necessitate commentary]
  • You are way too serious about everything [way to throw down the compliments buddy! That’ll get a girl!]
  • Even though you are way too serious about life, you like sudoku. [I had no idea playing sudoku wins points in the eyes of the opposite sex. Will start playing tomorrow.]

Let’s continue.

My current working theory on why you didn’t respond to my texts was that you may be one of those people with weird rules, like don’t right [really?] after meeting, wait X days, etc. I don’t really care for that type of rule — I can tell pretty quickly if I like someone or not — so I don’t see the point of playing the waiting game. I was in a bit of a weird place though at that time, so I probably came off overly aggressive in my texts, though I think that was mainly because I am pretty sensitive and took it personally when I didn’t hear back. I wouldn’t be interested in dating somebody who couldn’t take ten seconds to tell me they liked meeting me, but we still could have met up as friends afterwards (not to imply you’re not hot, just that you’re probably not sensitive enough about other people for me.
It’s common practice for people to analyze why someone didn’t call them back or to guess what happened, but Jonathob chose to actually vocalize it to the person who was doing the ignoring. Does he think this email will get him somewhere? Perhaps garner a response? What exactly was the point of this email?
Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. Generally, I feel like my opinion about things is usually right, and I want to improve the world, and make people think, so I am happy to broadcast it.
Oh! He’s trying to make the world a better place. He is usually right, and obviously he is right by demanding that Gwyneth respond to his texts and emails. I bet when she didn’t respond to this email, it simply infuriated him more.
I’m not expecting a response and I’m not planning to write again, I just feel like it’s lame that two people who seemed to enjoy meeting up couldn’t do so again for whatever reason.
Good luck with stuff. I did enjoy meeting you, even though I think your text-ignoring behavior was pretty lame. And I hope this message finds you well and doesn’t come across as sour grapes or anything weird, just figured I’d share my two cents, because I am full of riches and I enjoy being a beacon of light in the world.
And this, folks, is just another example of what we women have to look forward to dating in DC. Hilarious, sensitive, soduko loving beacons of light just trying to make the world a better place by responding to a text message.
I’ll get back on okcupid tomorrow.

Tis I

August 20, 2012

Can I just take a minute to make fun of my father here? Sorry Dad, maybe we should consider including you in the next contest for ditziest Barber. During Liv’s wedding rehearsal on Friday night, the Justice of the Peace (hereinafter referred to as JoP) asked the question of the Father of the Bride, “who gives this woman to this man?” I think most people know that the standard response here, along with most other responses during a wedding, is, “I do.”

What did my father say?

‘Tis I

I cannot stop laughing about this. First of all, the JoP was basically a drill sargeant, so she was NOT amused by his response. Secondly, he was not kidding when he said this. I think he was so nervous about the whole thing that it was the first thing that came to him when she asked the question, that is, after he realized it was him who was supposed to respond. Thirdly – ’tis I?’ Dad, have you been reading some Shakespeare lately? Hysterical.

And from that day forward, “tis I” goes down in history and will be frequently pulled into the rotation ala Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm. In fact, Bill used it later on that test run by responding with a “tis I” instead of an “I do” when she asked if he takes Liv to be his wife. JoP – NOT amused. None of us could stop laughing. JoP – still not amused. Jean also used it the next day when she knocked on my parent’s hotel room door and they asked who it was. She naturally announced herself, “tis I.”

GOLD. Thanks Dad for the material. Can’t wait for Jean’s wedding in January to see what else you’ve got.