Sara does stand-up

July 25, 2011

oh, Readers. I am so sorry that I have not posted. In fact, no one is probably even checking this blog anymore it’s been so long. I am a bad blogger. Although I wish I could just blog all day, it is just not feasible having started a new job. Again I propose the idea to up and quit my job and move to Spain, where I could write or blog full time (for who or what, I don’t know). But man, wouldn’t that be the life. A year later, still got Spain on the brain.

Anyway, the only reason I even checked this site was because I finally up and joined Toastmasters. Hell yeah. I meant to do it for my last gig since my public speaking needs vast improvement, but it just never happened. But throw me into a position where I need to be an expert and present complicated ideas; yeah, I have to sign up for Toastmasters. And that I did. So here I am trying to prepare my first speech; called ‘The Icebreaker.” All you need to do is talk about yourself for 4-6 minutes. Easy, right? Wrong. How the hell do you condense your whole life into 4-6 minutes? What do you pick to talk about during that time? Well, preparing for this little speech brought me back to you. Since my life is memorialized for the past two years here, how the heck could I not go back to you all to refresh my memory? So here I am. Stuck.

Once again I avoid speaking (and even preparing a speech) to write. Frankly, I could write all day. If I could just write all day and avoid talking, I’d be fine. In fact, I’d thrive. So maybe that is what I will talk about – writing. Obviously I was planning to mention the blog, maybe summarize a couple main points from over the years. For example; The Palm Reading, living Office Space, and getting caught out by another guy from eHarmony while meeting someone else on a date at the art gallery. You know, the types of things that happen to everyone.

Well, that is all. Now it’s too late to write anything and I need to go to bed. Getting up semi-early to bike to work. I haven’t biked in two weeks and I’m frankly dying to get back on my baby. So writing and biking, that is what I’ll talk about. Or, I could pick a few ridiculous stories out of the blog and attempt to just speak them. Now, that is a good idea. I’d get the audience’s attention and get a couple laughs out of it. Sure, it’s not all that deep and gives them no background on me besides a couple random situations, but who cares. At least it’s funny. So here we have it – Sara does stand-up. I’m going to try to go all comedian up on your a*s (sorry, I’ve been watching too much Curb Your Enthusiasm, clearly – anyone who watches will get the reference).

That is all. I’ll let you know how it goes. And if anyone has any suggestions on topics for this speech I could focus on, do share.

Your friend,



July 10, 2011

I just got vegan cornbread in my bad eye. How, you may ask? I couldn’t tell you. It’s 1:30 in the a.m. and I had to share this with someone, and didn’t want to post to facebook. I’m kind of over letting everyone and their mother know what I’m up to unless it’s incredibly important and/or super funny. I guess this could actually qualify, but I haven’t spoken to you guys in a while so what the heck. Let me blog.

I say ‘bad eye’ and really mean ‘bad eyelid.’ Long story short, last weekend, I went swimming in the Potomac (against my better judgment). No, really, we’ve gone swimming in the Potomac for years. We have boating friends who take us on their boats, and it is hot, so what is one going to do but…swim in the Potomac. I swam in the Potomac, and now have an infected eyelid. Totally normal.

I just got cornbread in my bad eye. EML