new feat

September 28, 2013

Opened public bathroom door with foot.


Deported

August 21, 2013

Hey everyone Sara finally likes a guy! But guess what. He is from a foreign country and was only here on a work visa which expired, so is most likely about to get deported.

Moral of the story:

– Sara finally likes someone, yay!
– But naturally, he’s about to get deported.

Just another day in the life…


twitter

April 2, 2013

I finally created a twitter account! Please follow me @saraphhh
#iamawesome #lml #upat5amtodothis #notsurewhy #datingindcsucks #hashtagsareweird #butithinkimfinallygettingthehangofit

Okay maybe not. Back to bed!

Love always,
Sara


HNY SOL

January 23, 2013

Just received a “happy new year.”

January 22nd – new record on the happy new year (HNY) statute of limitations (SOL)?


black on white

April 18, 2012

Who here in DC has AT&T cell phone service only to find that you have no cell coverage on the weekends, most especially in the U Street area? Call me crazy, but the purpose of a phone is to actually be able to use it. Not the case with AT&T service at night on U Street. I realized enough was enough when a couple friends of mine crashed a date I was on, literally, but only because I wasn’t receiving the text messages they were sending me asking if it was okay to come by. Luckily I wasn’t really interested in the guy, and of course it made for a great story Sara style, but…really. It’s time to switch to Verizon.

What I had not contemplated when making this rash decision was what color iPhone I preferred. Black has always been my go to model, but change could be good. I step into the Apple store and see the white option, which is strangely appealing to me. Wait a minute; do I actually go with white?

As I’m mulling over this important decision, a black guy greets me and proceeds to assist me with the sale (the fact that he is black will become relevant later. Note to readers – I am white). I ask him what he prefers; black or white? He says white, so naturally, I choose the opposite of what he says and get the black. But, as we proceed on with the transaction, I cannot stop thinking about the white. 15 minutes into processing my black iPhone, I test the guy. “Is it too late to switch to white?” I ask. He says, “No, this happens all the time.” [really?]. So we start the transaction over; this time with the white iPhone. And I’m feeling much better about my decision.

After finalizing my iPhone color choice, I realize that I must also consider what color case I would like to supplant my new white iPhone. I ask the black guy what his opinion is on cases; he suggests a few. While he’s continuing to process my transaction, I’m feeling the pressure – I must think on my toes and make a decision on a case so as not to hold this guy up any longer than I already have with my indecision. So here is my line of thinking on choosing a case…

I use my phone for work, so I don’t want to look too unprofessional by going with a brazen pink or something of that nature. The lingerie lace case, for example, probably isn’t work appropriate. I see some Kate Spade, stripes, plaid, wood, you name it – they have it all. I eye a white case, but think that this could quite possibly be too much white. I don’t want to overdo it here. Then I stumble upon pure brilliance; keep my edgy white iPhone but cover it up with a black case. It allows me to easily transition from black to white. But is this normal? Before I could stop myself, I hear myself asking the black guy, who is minding his own business processing my transaction:

How do you feel about black on white?

As I’m saying it, the words are coming out in slow motion but I just can’t seem to stop myself. I shockingly did not laugh out loud, but managed a good hearted internal laugh at myself. Did I really just say that? Perhaps he laughed internally too, but neither of us acknowledged the irony of my question. We just went about our business, and I chose the black iPhone case with the white iPhone thanks to black guy’s assistance.

It’s a novelty really – white iPhone, black case. So…how do you feel about black on white?


SOTU 2012

January 24, 2012

Okay, I’m home now. And somehow – this guy is still talking.

I’d just like to point out that watching the SOTU on a 40 inch flat screen Samsung is way more enjoyable that watching it on the TV as depicted in last year’s post. Much, much better. Boehner doesn’t look quite so tan as last year, but definitely has some blush on. Perhaps it’s the 1978 wood panel box TV I was watching on last year that’s making the difference here.

  • This is such bullsh*t. That’s really all I have to say about it this year. I’m totally over politics. As is probably indicated by me not even knowing this speech was tonight.
  • I learned the other day where the Vice Pres lives. Had no idea. Everyone knows the President lives in the White House, but did anyone know that the Vice Pres lives in the Naval Observatory over on Mass Ave? This girl here had no idea. Learn something new every day.
  • Is this really still happening? It’s 10pm.
  • I actually think, upon viewing on my flat screen, that the President’s greying hair has slowed down somewhat. You may recall that he had no grey whatsoever upon getting sworn in. And just like that, he was grey as hell. Very noticeable. One would think, 3 years later, that he’d be all grey by now. My entire body would probably be grey if I had to deal with this sh*t. But no, his greying has slowed down. Not too shabby.
  • Healthcare law! Relies on a reformed private market. Yes. Wow – he devoted literally 2 seconds to healthcare. Smart move.
  • Has Boehner smiled at all in the past hour? Don’t think so. Has he even clapped?
  • Noticing a lot more color in the audience this year. Must mean more women are elected officials. Nice work ladies.
  • This could actually be because of the flat screen.
  • Nancy Pelosi looks old. Man, she has clearly gone through the ringer the past couple of years. Wow.
  • Haven’t seen Hillary in a bit. Growing the hair out I see.
  • “I could have done so much better than him.” You know that’s what she’s thinking just looking at her face.
  • IS THIS EVER GOING TO END.

Okay, it’s over. 10:16pm. Glad I only caught the tail end of that one. Oy

 


SOTU 2011

January 25, 2011

Okay I’m doing it again. Another State of the Union live blog post.

Little late…I think we are 15 minutes in already. But let’s just say – this guy is good. He is literally speaking word for word from speech text, or so I hear. Pretty redic impressive if you ask me.

  • Mo cleverly pointed out that there was no mention of Foursquare during the internet shoutout to Facebook and Google. WTF?
  • HE’S sending a budget to Congress?! I’m not even going to comment on that one.
  • I’m not gonna lie, I actually like this Dems/Republicans interspersed throughout the chamber as opposed to on opposite sides. Does give off the fake illusion of both parties working together toward a common goal.
  • John Boehner looks like he’s about to cry.
  • BTW looks like someone is stimulating the economy by hitting their local Palm Beach Tan.
  • [I can’t claim that one on my own either, stole it from a friend’s Facebook post]
  • John Kerry! What the hell has he been up to? He looks like he’s wearing a mask.
  • What the heck are Biden and Boehner laughing about? Is something funny here?
  • They really liked that ‘pat down’ comment. Traveling, without the pat down!
  • BTW saw Kathy walk in a little before the Pres earlier. I have two pictures with her. I’m famous.
  • Hey it’s Max! We are on a first name basis. FYI
  • Who gets seats to this thing? Honestly, I’d rather not be there.
  • Who the hell is that guy and that is one ridiculous wig he’s got on. That or he is in the Hair Club for Men.
  • My boy Boehner looks bored as shit.
  • Waxman. Okay this is truly sad that I know who everyone is during individual cameo shots.
  • Boehner is finally smiling now upon mention of changing the health care law. This guy is going to be a real pleasure to work with in the coming years, I can tell.
  • Boehner still smiling during this discussion. Really? The smirk?
  • Didn’t he propose a freeze last year on discretionary spending? So is this freeze on top of last year’s freeze? Wowzers.
  • $400B saved over the next decade? Seriously, how is this possible bud? Just wondering.
  • I can tell you how to save some money. How about getting rid of this awesome computer system we just installed in our office that has no point whatsoever and is actually killing productivity.
  • oh heyyyy Hillary. This could have been you.
  • phhhh Boehner just looked shocked that Pres said cutting discretionary spending isn’t the only way to cut spending.
  • I wonder if they tell him not to make faces during the speech.
  • Oh jeez med mal reform.
  • I really find that the most amusing part of this is watching the Speaker of the House behind the Pres.
  • Boehner just clapped about simplifying the individual tax code. A positive reaction.
  • Hey is he making fun of black and white TVs? Has he SEEN my wood panel tube?
  • Oh really. When you meet with lobbyists the information is put online? Didn’t know that.
  • I’d like to see you veto those bills with earmarks in it. I love ya Barack, but I call bullshit.
  • Man this is a long speech.
  • Biden has perma-frown. If you compare the lip lines between the two (Biden and Boehner), it’s actually quite amusing. Boehner is flatlined.
  • Michelle – isn’t she sick of this whole Presidency thing yet?
  • Okay I can’t stop focusing on the lip lines.
  • Did he just say Iraq war? I completely forgot about that thing.
  • Still on international security. I lost interest after the health reform discussion.
  • It’s freezing in my apartment. Appropriate.
  • I didn’t see this in the news, but I can only assume that the little white bow on everyone’s vest is for Congresswoman Giffords. Yes/no?
  • Still too many men in this Congress. More women please? Don’t worry, I’m workin my way up. Could use a little more racial diversity too. Thanks.
  • He’s going to Brazil!? I am contemplating a trip myself!
  • Boehner slowly moving to a frown.
  • I swear John Kerry is wearing a mask. He actually looks like one of those Kerry masks you find in the costume stores.
  • I really could use a good flat screen; in fact I can’t believe I still have this little piece of history. I’d like to use this opportunity to post a pic of my TV again.

  • Boehner just drank some water. Okay why am I still watching this thing?
  • awww Nancy in the audience. She’s always wearing a very interesting colored suit for SOTU.
  • P.S. can you believe a Tea Partier is doing a second rebuttal? This should be interesting.
  • Wow, he’s touching on gays and the military. Times are changing.
  • ROTC! I haven’t thought about or heard that since undergrad. haha
  • Is this thing over yet? Ready for bed.
  • How in the world did he memorize this entire speech???? I’m still in shock.
  • He doesn’t know of one person who wouldn’t like to trade places with any other nation on earth? Um, I’d like to trade places with someone in Spain.
  • Yep, I think Boehner is about to cry at his upbringing shoutout.
  • America! America! America! We do big things. He really has a way of getting people riled up.

Donezo. Not bad Pres. Hopefully your approval ratings go up after this. Thanks for listening in everyone. Sorry if this wasn’t as amusing as last years’ effort. I did my best.