Where do I start with this one. We had drunk guys, old dudes with horrible inappropriate one liners, a few normal guys, interviews, laughs, drinks, sexual innuendos, speed dating regulars, serious note taking for blogging purproses, someone I actually liked, and did I mention laughs? Overall good times, I would definitely recommend it. Let me begin.
Let me preface this by stating it was me and three other girlfriends – Mo, Yu, and Angela. Angela is notoriously late. So I was less than shocked when Yu and Angela showed up at 7:30 when the event started at 7. Not to worry though, Yu entered the premises and immediately ran the table at the lock and key. For those of you who are unaware of what this game entails, I think they used this as an “icebreaker.” The women are all given locks and the men keys to open the locks, and you have to search for someone who can open your lock, in which case you and your “match” will win a prize. Yu was finding her match one after the other and ended up with three movie passes and a cd. Not bad Yu. I got a lock and tested out about two guys before stumbling upon this drunk dude. His name was John. I know this from the speed dating portion of the evening. I took a note that said “drunk – opened my key” (okay clearly I was scribbling notes fast), so I would know later if he contacted me to ignore the email. I mean, dude was trashed. He clearly had gone somewhere before or pregamed at home because he wreaked of alcohol, was stumbling on his words, and was wobbly. Way to make a great first impression dude. Hilarious. Anyway, drunk guy opened my lock. We got a movie pass and he asked if I would go with him. I laughed and moved on.
So I got another lock and was having no luck with the next one. At this point, if something funny happened, I jotted it down on the sheet they gave you to take notes on the people you speed dated with. I come up to this Indian dude, about my height, who I had noticed was actually kind of cute and looked normal when he walked in. He puts the key in my lock and only the tip is going in, so he says “okay we’ll just pretend that didn’t happen.” This struck me as hysterical so I burst out laughing and moved on. Note to self – jot this one liner down later. I did. Next up is this old guy in jeans and a jacket – Sketchy Suit Guy. He looked like he was late 40’s or 50. No good. I put my lock out so he can insert his key. He starts teasing me with his key. I’m looking at him like he is insane. He’s talking but I don’t recall what he is saying, I’m just trying to get his dumb ass to insert his key. Finally, he stops teasing me and steps close, looks into my eyes and says “I like to look into your eyes when I put my key into your lock.” He says it in this slow, seductive voice (or at least he was trying to be seductive, clearly it was not working). I don’t know what to say to this, so run along as fast as possible to the bar. This calls for a drink. I was laughing so hard that I needed a breather. Yu, Mo, and Angela find me promptly after this and tell me dude used the same line on them. Absurd. Someone must have put him up to that or something. I mean, that was ludicrous. Ludicrously hilarious.
Lock and Key is getting old. We start the speed dating. The girls find a seat and the guys have to rotate around the room to the next girl after each four minute session is up. They gave you a pencil and sheet of paper with columns including your number (we were each assigned a number), name, whether you are interested or not interested, and then any notes you want to take about the person. Then later you can email people you are interested in. At first I didn’t take notes, but then guys would come by and ask why I wasn’t taking any, so I started at least jotting down their number and name so that they wouldn’t feel bad. A few things to report here:
#153: Jim – I checked not interested. He asked if I had any hobbies. Laughing in my head, the first thing that came to mind to say was “drinking,” but then I thought better of that and for some reason said “cooking.” For anyone who knows me, this whole cooking kick is a recent development. I don’t know if I can really call it a hobby just yet. But for some reason, this was the first thing that came to mind so I said it. He asked what I cook, and mind you, I’ve only had this “hobby” for three weeks. So I list off what I’ve cooked the past three Sundays – chili (the all day cooking affair for my late guest last week) and two chicken dishes in the crock pot. Obviously these were not difficult to make. He says he cooks too, recently he did some pork chops. I’m thinking he probably thinks I’m an amateur. Clearly my amateur cooking skills did not detract Jim because I got an email from him today saying he would like to get together. Not really there for me, but at least I got a hit.
#305: John – drunk guy. Didn’t write down much here. I think we discussed the movie passes we won. I told him I don’t watch movies. He was dumbfounded and just kept asking “why don’t you watch movies?” As in, what the hell is wrong with you? Glad I don’t watch movies cause that made it all the easier to get out of using the free passes with him.
If you recall in my last post, they were short on guys for this event. Come to find out later, DC Professionals in the City (organizers putting it on) emailed some salsa group they have and managed to recruit enough guys so that the ratio was almost even. However, there was still one more girl than the number of guys, so at one point I had a break from “dating.” I saw who was next in line after my break. It was Sketchy Suit Guy. I figure since I’m on a break and Sketchy Suit Guy is coming up, maybe it’s the ultimate time to go back to the bar for a glass of wine. So I plan it accordingly so that I’m at the bar when they rotate, meaning Sketchy Suit Guy skips me (since I’m MIA) and heads to Mo. Sorry Mo, had to do it. I laughed at myself and mouthed “I meant to do that” to the event organizers who were looking at me like I did something wrong. They laughed too.
I get back to my chair having successfully avoided Sketchy Suit Guy, only to hear him saying this to Mo “would you let the chocolate dangle from your lips and lick it?” WTF? I gather that they were talking about eating chocolate strawberries (Mo – correct me if I’m wrong here). She just replied that no, she would just eat it, and luckily, the four minutes were up. What a shady mo-fo. Next.
#306: Will – I thought Will was kind of cute, of the maybe three guys out of 25 or so who were there. We started talking about what we do, and he said he does something with windows. I told him about my friend Karch who does interior design. Karch has been laid off for a while. Next thing I know, I’m giving him Karch’s email since he apparently needs an interior designer for his business. If nothing else, I can say I fascilitated a networking connection at this event.
#133: Mark – Seemed nice. Mark is a meteorologist. I have never met a meteorologist so thought I should note him here.
#117: Matt – I got the 20 questions from Matt, ranging from “what would you consider the best and worst thing that has happened to you in a relationship” to “what are your hobbies?” Some of these questions were just off the wall. Clearly he had thought these up prior to the event, as if preparing for an interview.
#138: Jonathan – Jonathan immediately pounced on Mo and I when we entered the building. Except he stood right in front of me and kept telling me “you’ll do fine” (as if I was worried about this). Obviously, Jonathan is no rookie. I am pretty sure Jonathan is “that” guy who does all of the speed dating events, meaning he is a speed dating regular. Big guy, glasses, nice but awkward at the same time. Can anyone confirm? We talked about desserts, which was probably not a good thing for Jonathan since he looked like he eats many. Jonathan told me he flies Southwest into Hartford often. Great. Something tells me I am going to run into this guy at some point in the future. Unless, of course, I respond to his “interest” email and get a jump on things.
That’s about all the entertaining stories I have, at least from what I can gather from my notes. Mo peels out before it’s over to go meet her 23 year old, which I found entertaining. The event ends soon thereafter. Unfortunately, there was not enough time to make it through all the rounds and get through all the guys. I wouldn’t have cared, except that I wanted to talk to the Indian guy from the beginning who made the hilarious comment about only the tip fitting in my lock. People are milling around afterwards at the bar, chatting. I see him but he’s talking to others and unfortunately this incredibly dorky obnoxious dude was up in my grill so I spent a good majority of the time trying to get away from him. Dorky guy leaves, finally, and next thing I know Indian Guy is next to me. Score. We start talking and then somehow end up hanging out for the rest of the night. We land at Goody’s late night. He lives in Rosslyn. Okay so maybe I didn’t get home the next day till 12:30, since he lives near Goody’s and all. I just didn’t want to leave, was having too much fun with him. So I’d say the speed dating turned out to be a success. I would recommend it, for pure comedic affect alone. And you never know, you may actually meet someone you like.