dating update #564

Hi. I feel as though dating in DC in general deserves another blog post from me. Maybe it’s just dating in any city, I don’t know. But at some point you just want to throw in the towel, cut your losses, and move to the burbs with your 5 cats. That, or move to another country. I mean, seriously. I give up.

I recently decided that I’d stop the online thing. What in the world was that even getting me? [Good stories, yes, I know.] I’d go out on date after date after date, and no spark on my end. But really, what is ‘that spark?’ Are we being too picky? Am I being too picky? Should I give these guys more of a chance? They were all nice, had good jobs, relatively attractive, liked the same things I did, but I just felt as though I was missing ‘that spark.’ You know what I mean. That initial – “oh, who is this guy? I want to get to know him” type feeling you have. Well, I had that with someone recently, went out with him multiple times, and then all of a sudden things took a turn for the worst and I got a really bad vibe. So what else would I do but just blatantly ask him what is up. I figure I deserve that much. Well, turns out, he said at first he thought there was something there, but then he just wasn’t feeling “that spark.” In fact, I’ve got this recently twice from two guys I really felt as though there could have been something with. Turns, out, they started acting weird because there was no “spark” on their end. And frankly, having been out with 10,000 guys online and not feeling “that spark,” I sadly know just what they are talking about. But my goodness – it is ridiculously hard to find two people that both feel “that spark” at the same time. I am beginning to question if it is even feasible. I know married couples tell me that “you just know” when it’s right. Sadly, I feel as though I have felt this at least a few times with a select few individuals recently. In my mind, there was no way it wouldn’t work out. Even though it just so turns out that they were clearly not on the same page as me, I felt “that spark, ” so obviously, they must too!

Anyway, at some point you just have to say eff it and throw in the towel. Dating in DC, and I suppose any major city, is just very very tough. The guy who just told me he was missing “that spark” also just told me that he just got into online dating and wants to see what else is out there; he’s meeting a lot of people and there is just so much opportunity and he wants to find “the one.” Well, don’t we all. I get it. The number of girls in DC is double the number of guys in DC, so guys really have their pick in who they want to settle down with. That to me, just clarifies that dating in DC is starting to be a no win situation for women. Men have their choice here and can date around as they please. So can women it turns out, but as far as settling down, well, no one wants to. There is just too much opportunity. Too many choices. What if I’m missing something with someone else out there by settling down with a person that just has 4 of the 5 qualities I want in a mate? Can I find someone with 5 of 5?

Anyway, obviously, that wasn’t meant to be. I’m just venting now because it feels good to do so and I’m honestly just kind of sad it didn’t work out when for the past month or so I had been thinking that it would. But, that is life. These things happen and you have to keep putting your heart into it and your best foot forward. Some day, maybe something will work out and both of the parties will feel “that spark” at the same time. If not, oh well. I realize that I do have a great network of friends and family, and I’m happy being single for the most part. But everyone wants that special someone to share their time with, someone who will be there for them through thick and thin. Of course, I’m not willing to settle down with someone whom I don’t have “that spark” with, so I have to understand where they are coming from too. So, we gotta keep on keepin on.

Thanks for tuning in.


5 Responses to dating update #564

  1. Nicole says:

    It’s not just DC. I hear the same thing from ladies from all over.

  2. Stephanie says:

    you speak the truth lady. I know it happens everywhere but DC seems particularly difficult for awesome ladies like yourself

  3. RoRo says:

    Are there really double the number of girls in DC? I knew there was a reason I liked it down there so much…

  4. JK says:

    i call BS on that 2:1 ratio, there’s no way that’s true, otherwise i wouldn’t be trying to date 23 year olds! or maybe these girls just don’t go to CP? hmm…

  5. M says:

    Preach it, sister. I’ve had this happen [on both sides] over and over the past year. I think a lot of it is timing for the spark – it seemed a lot easier to find when we were younger. Maybe our spark standards have grown?

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