I was just told by my hot yoga instructor that I can no longer do any type of inversion. For those of you unfamiliar to the practice of yoga, that means I cannot invert my body so that my feet are in the air and my head is toward the ground. That would be no big deal to me, but that includes a number of yoga poses that I have grown to know and love. Granted, doing these yoga poses is probably what caused me to no longer be able to do them in the first place, but still. In the words of my friend Big D, EML. Not FML, EML…eff my life. Hot married yoga instructor, you are telling me that I can no longer do ARM STAND? I LOVE arm stand!!!! Shoulder stand I can pass on, but AMR STAND? No good. I also can’t do head stand, but apparently hand stand is in the realm of possibilities. Dude, I can’t even do a hand stand – seriously? Guess I better get to work on it.
Okay, so why, you may I ask, can I no longer do arm stand? I have a bulging disc in my neck according to an x-ray, discovered after my arm started going numb soon after I started practicing yoga. However, pretty sure this all started last year when I went wakeboarding at one point…you have to love those extreme sports. My neck was in serious pain that weekend and into the next week. At the time, I half jokingly figured I had broken it. Guess I almost did. Awesome. Perhaps I should pass on boarding this weekend.
Since I’m on a bitch fest, I would like to point out that I get called ‘ma’am’ now at least once per day. Bulging disc and ma’am. I am seriously getting old…maybe I should think about starting to think about freezing my eggs. EML