I was just doing some facebook stalking when I came across a wonderful status line. It read:
Never struggle to become relevant. You either are or you aren’t.
Such a simple statement, but oh so true. In many respects. It particularly struck me as relevant today, as me and a friend at work were dealing with some of the many kiss-ass overachievers in our office. Everyone wants a piece of the health reform pie, everyone wants to get their foot in the door in order to feel like they are a part of this big change that is about to take place. But unless you have something good to say, please don’t say anything at all. Don’t say something just to hear yourself talk and to get your identity out there. People will respect you for your ideas, but if you have to struggle to make a point, then maybe you shouldn’t be making it.
But really this statement can be applied to many settings. Relationships primarily. Let’s take my ex, for example. For years we tried to make it work, but there was always something holding him back. He always had one foot out the door; he just was never able to fully commit. Finally, after a few years, I started to accept that I could not change what he felt. I had no other choice. Would I continue to hope things would work out with him and try to work things out, when really I had no control over it? I could not make him fall in love with me. He either was or he wasn’t – and he wasn’t. I struggled for years to become relevant in his life (and obviously I was, just not to the level that I wanted to be). I kept thinking that maybe things would change and if I did a certain thing, maybe he would become what I wanted him to be. But, finally I realized that wasn’t going to happen. His feelings for me were not going to miraculously change, despite what I did or what I might have done. He wasn’t going to magically realize overnight that what he wanted (me!) was right in front of him. After years of hoping he would change, I had to let him go.
I’m not sure how I just went off on that tangent, but I think you get my point. Don’t try to be something you aren’t in order to get something you think that you want. Just be yourself. If it is meant to be, whatever “it” might be, then it will happen if it’s meant to happen. I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t work hard to attain the goals that you want to achieve. Quite the opposite. Instead, I don’t believe that you should have to struggle to achieve certain things. Just accept that it wasn’t meant to be and find something that is. It will save you a lot of stress and heartache.